Lexi's flaws
by ToruUmiko LeafNinja
Summary: my name is Lexi carter, I'm 15 years old. I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for 5 years now. I have no friends at all and my family is messed up. but i never excepted that alien robots and their human allies would make me feel normal again. Rated T cause there are subjects of Suicide, cutting and drug abuse and other things in this story. no flames!
1. Chapter 1

Lexi's flaws

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the transformers at all and reviews are welcomed.

Cool air washed over my skin. I was sitting in a bed. Wearing a hospital gown. My mother was looking at me with concern.

A person walked into the room and my mother left the room. "can you tell me your name?" the lady asked. She held a clip board. I looked at my bandaged arms.

"Lexi carter" I muttered. she nodded and wrote something down. "Now Lexi, can you tell me why you took those pills and cut yourself?" she asked me.

"I wanted to die. To be away from this pain I feel" I muttered. "is there anything else?" the doctor asked. I shook my head.

"Okay, get some sleep. You'll be going home tomorrow" the doctor said and I laid down and she left. I stared at the ceiling.

I wanted to die, to be away from this life. But I'm stuck here. Even suicide won't take me away, people always seem to find me and take me here. I thought bitterly to myself.

As you know my name is Lexi carter. I'm 15 years old and I live in tranquility California. I suffer from depression and anxiety. For five years I've been dealing with these problems. And it doesn't help that my family is messed up.

My sister Helen, she hates me. Helen has bullied me my whole life and she has almost killed me. she tried to drown me. my mother, she has been trying to get me to be better but she has to deal with Helen. Helen causes so much trouble. She takes drugs and she's always out late with her friends doing bad things.

And then there's the fact that my father is a total jerk. And he has threatened me, but no one believes me that he threatened me. Since he left my mother when I was a child I felt like he abandoned me. I don't visit him anymore. I haven't seen him since I was 11 years old. That was the last time I have seen him.

And I'm thankful for that. I had taken an over dose of my medication to try and kill myself, that's why I'm in the hospital. This is the second time I've been brought to the hospital because of suicide attempts.

The last suicide attempt was because I drank cleaning fluid and took an over dose of pills. But what does it matter if I die. I'll just gone. And no one would really care. I don't have any friends.

I closed my eyes and let sleep take over my mind.

 **Next morning**

I woke up and the nurse came in and gave me my clothes and I went into the bathroom and changed out of the hospital gown. I went into the room and my mom was waiting for me. and so was Helen.

We walked out of the hospital and Helen punched me in my arm. "Why do you keep faking these issues goth girl! You want someone to give you all the attention Goth girl?" Helen said to me. I ignored her. My mom didn't stop Helen from saying these things. It was pointless to try and stop her.

I just looked out the window as we drove home. Thankfully it was a Saturday. we got home and I went up to my room. I then heard the arguing start between my sister and my mom. and then the slam of the door. I looked out my window and I saw my sister walking down the street.

I should also mention my sister is 17 years old. I went over to my bed and I sat down. my room was painted a light moonlight blue. my drawings were on my walls. I heard my door creak open and my cat walked into my room.

The tabby cat walked up to me and jumped into my lap. "Hey DJ" I muttered to my cat and I petted him. I laid down with him curled up in the curve of my stomach. I then started to cry. I just cried silently. I looked at my arms. Covered in bandages. My arms are covered in cuts. And I had cut really deep so I had to get stitches.

I just let my tears fall. I felt so sad and lonely. I don't want to feel this way. I thought to myself. I just let myself lay there while crying and petting my cat as he laid there listening to my sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

Lexi's flaws

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the transformers and reviews are welcomed.

 _I walked through a door. I saw my sister and my mother. I went over to the kitchen table and then Helen started to scream at me. I shrunk down and I fell to the floor. She started to kick my stomach. I had scrambled to my feet and I ran up the stairs and I closed my door. I cried as I heard my sister kicking the door._

" _Stop it! Stop it! I didn't do anything!" I yelled. "You were born that's what you did!_ " _my sister Helen yelled at me. And then she burst through the door._

A scream ripped from my throat when I woke up. I sat up and I saw that it was day light. I saw the time. 9:13 AM. I slept through the whole day and night yesterday. I saw my smooth collie Levi sleeping on the end of my bed.

My door was violently pushed open. "Will you shut up you fucker" my sister said to me in a loud voice and she walked away. Levi looked at me and I petted her head. I laid back down.

After a while I got up and went downstairs. I sat in the chair and grabbed a banana. My mom walked down the stairs and she had dark circles under her eyes.

She looked at me. And my mom walked over to the coffee pot. I started to eat the banana and then the phone rang. My mom picked the phone up. "Hello" my mom said. I got up and left the kitchen. I went up to the bathroom.

I had dark circles under my eyes. I was tired. I just want to go back to bed. To sleep more. I splashed my face with some water. I went back downstairs so I could take my medication. "Lexi, your teacher can't come tomorrow for the home schooling. She wanted to know if you could bring your work to the high school to drop it off to your teacher there?" my mother asked.

I felt a pang of anxiety. My stomach felt like it was being twisted. I don't want to go there. "Um sure" I said. No, I can't do it. I just can't. I thought. I grabbed a cup of water and I took my two pills. "Lexi, why don't you go out to the barn, spend some time with the horse?" my mom suggested.

"Uh. Okay" I muttered and I went upstairs. I hate having to leave my room. I just don't want to be out in the world. I only seem to feel worse than anything being out in public. I got into my jeans and a tank top.

I went downstairs and I saw my sister was drinking a cup of coffee. She got up and she put me into a headlock. "What are you doing goth girl? Are you going to go see the horse? You know that the horse is mine and you stay away from my pet!" and my sister then pulled my hair and she let me go.

I left to the door and my mom then gave me a bag with some carrots and she gave me my bike helmet. "Be safe" my mom said and I just left the house. I went on my bike and I left to the barn. The horse is actually mine but my sister says she owns the horse. But the truth is she hates the horse. My horse's name is Galaxy. She's a paint horse. I kept on peddling my bike.

I got to the barn after a while and I put my bike against the side of the barn. I went to the field and I saw Galaxy eating the grass. I ducked under the fence and walked over to my horse. I let my hand run over her neck. "I tried suicide Friday night. It didn't work" I said out loud.

"I must seem like an idiot to talk to a horse. An animal that can't talk back" I muttered. I put on her halter and I walked her into the barn. I started to groom her. "I just hate my sister Helen. She keeps on bugging me and calling me names" I said to Galaxy. "I wish that I did die" I muttered and I let my head rest against her body.

After I finished grooming Galaxy I put her back out in the field. I didn't want to ride or do anything with Galaxy. I sat on the ground and I looked at my arms. Still covered in the bandages. I started to unravel the bandages and I saw the stitches on my arms. I had cuts and scars covering my lower arms. From my wrists all the way up to my elbows.

I walked back up to the barn and got on my bike and left. I went back home and when I got home I saw my sister out front yelling at my mom. A few of her friends were there. "I can what I want! I can smoke and take the drugs if I want to! It's my life!" she yelled at my mom. My sister takes heroin and other drugs. She sometimes even steals my medication to take.

And she smokes Weed. And she has a criminal record. She steals. I hate being around her. And I can't stand living in the same house as her. I left my bike in the garage and went inside and up to my room.

I close the door and I fell to the ground. I then screamed. I just screamed. I held my head between my hands. Tears fell from my eyes. I don't want to live. I hate my life!

I got my journal and I started to write.

May, 5, 2008

Why does this have to happen to me? Why did I get stuck with this life? This world would be better off without me. Nothing makes me feel happy. I'm broken. No one can put me back together. I'm only holding onto this life by a few strings. Each day a string is being cut and my tether to this life is being lost. I'll be lost soon. And no one would cry at my funeral. Maybe I'll be better off dead, I wouldn't have to feel this way ever again.

I shut my journal and I went to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and I took off my clothes and I sat on the floor of the tub. The hot water hit my skin. I gritted my teeth when the water hit my cuts. I don't care if the stitches come out. I'm going to be stuck with scars anyways.

 **Next morning**

I did my usual routine. Get up, go downstairs and eat an apple or a banana. Take my pills and then let my sister punch me or kick me. And then I go back upstairs to get into normal clothes and go back downstairs and sit on the couch. I looked at the time.

11:25 AM. Time to go bring my work to the school. I just kept sitting on the couch. Maybe I could just say I forgot to go to the school. I don't want to go there.

I got up and grabbed my folder of my school work and I left on my bike to the high school. I'm in grade 9. Next year I'll be in grade 10. I turned 15 on April 12.

I was glad to be wearing my arm warmers. I hate when people stare at me. I got to the school and I put my bike at the bike rack. It was lunch time and it was busy.

I went to the doors and I went inside. I got to the office and I opened the doors and then I was on the ground. "Sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there" I heard a boy say and he helped me up. He was 18. A senior.

"Hey, you okay?" a girl asked. I nodded and I went past them. I went to the counter. "Hi, what can I help you with?" the secretary asked me. I noticed that the boy and the girl I bumped into were still in the office. "I'm here to drop off some work to Mrs. West." I said. "Okay, are you new here and can't find your way?" the secretary asked me. "I'm homeschooled" I said. She nodded.

"I can't show you to her room. Maybe Sam and Mikaela can. Sam, Mikaela can you show this girl to Mrs. West's Room?" the secretary asked the two seniors I bumped into earlier. They came over. I wanted to go crawl into a hole and hide. "Sure. Hi I'm Mikaela" the girl said. "I'm Sam. So come on we'll show you to Mrs. West's room" the boy said. I followed them as we walked down the hall.

"Sorry about earlier. Didn't see where I was going." Sam said. "It's okay. It was my fault anyways" I muttered. "Are you new here?" Mikaela asked me. "No, I'm homeschooled and I haven't been around the school much" I muttered. My throat felt like it was tightening with every word I said to them.

"Well, here's Mrs. West's room. Nice to meet you. Um." Sam said. "Lexi. My name is Lexi" I muttered. "Well Lexi. Nice to meet you. Hey, maybe we could go out for pizza one day. A forgive me for bumping into you present" Sam said.

"Um. Well. Maybe" I said. They waved goodbye as they walked away. I knocked on the door and Mrs. West opened the door and I gave her the work. Before she could say anything I ran down the hall and out of the school. I got to my bike and put on my helmet. I was moving on adrenaline.

I biked out of the school so fast. I looked and I saw a Yellow Camaro in the school parking lot. Fancy car for a student to have. I thought and I peddled faster to get away from the school.


	3. Chapter 3

Lexi's flaws

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the transformers and reviews are welcomed. And thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

I was sitting on the couch in my pyjamas. I don't want to move at all. I had a movie playing on the TV. My laptop was on. I closed my laptop. I have a Facebook page but no one has sent me a request to be my friend.

I heard the door open. "Lexi, time to go. We have to go to your appointment" my mom said. I got up and I went and got into jeans, a t-shirt and my arm warmers. I brushed my hair down and I went back downstairs and my mom was waiting for me.

We went into the car and I put my headphones on. Listening to my music is an escape from this world but it doesn't always block out the world.

I let my head rest against the window. Watching the road as the car kept on driving. After a while we came to the building. I got out and my mom stayed in the car. I went inside the building and to the office. I went to the main desk.

"Hi Lexi, Dr. Ryan is ready to see you" the receptionist said to me and I walked into the office. Dr. Ryan was sitting there. She was getting out my file. "Hi Lexi, I heard that you tried suicide again" she said to me. I sat down in the chair. "Yeah" I muttered.

"Why did you try suicide?" she asked me. "I wanted to die. To not have to feel these emotions ever again. I'm worthless. No one loves me" I said. "Your mother loves you Lexi. Your sister loves you" Dr. Ryan said to me.

"My sister hates me! She wants me dead! She has tried to drown me! Why won't you believe me that she has tried to kill me?" I cried out. Tears streaked my face. "Lexi calm down, you're going through an episode. Your sister has already denied that she has tried to hurt you. Yes she bullies you but that doesn't mean she wants you dead" She said to me

"It's not true. She does want me dead. Why won't you let me die?" I said. I put my hands on my head. I was gripping my hair. "Lexi, calm down. You have been going through a lot of stress. Have you been taking your medication?" she asked me.

"I have been taking my medication" I whispered. "Okay. Did you cut yourself?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"I cut myself. I can't stop. It's my only relief of this pain. Cutting is like a drug, its addicting. It takes away the emotional pain and it makes me feel something" I whispered.

The talking about how I felt seemed to drag on for so long. When I was allowed to leave the receptionist stopped me. "Your mom had to leave. She said you can walk home" the receptionist said and I went outside.

It was raining. I just walked down the steps and I walked down the street. It's going to take me two hours to walk home. I have to go all the way across town.

As I walked down the one street downtown I saw a Camaro. It drove past me and then it came to a stop and it backed up. "Lexi? Lexi carter right?" I heard a familiar voice ask. I saw that it was Sam and Mikaela. And I saw a blonde in the backseat.

"What are you doing in the rain?" Mikaela asked me. "I'm walking home from an appointment" I said. "Hey, why don't we give you a ride home? Or we could stop and get some pizza then we can bring you home?" Sam asked.

I looked at them skeptically. I felt panic flow through me but I kept calm. "You guys aren't going to kidnap me or kill me?" I asked. The boy in the back laughed. "No we aren't. So you hungry for some pizza?" Mikaela asked me. Sam got out and handed me a jacket and he let me get into the back seat. The boy I saw moved over and smiled at me.

"I'm Bee." the blonde haired boy said to me. I noticed he had a black streak in his hair. "Lexi" I said. He wore a yellow jacket with black stripes on it. And a shirt with a strange robotic looking face symbol on it.

We came to a pizza parlor. We went inside the restaurant and we ordered a cheese pizza. We sat down at one of the tables. I stayed quite. "So Lexi, what grade are you in?" Mikaela asked me. "Grade 9" I muttered.

The pizza came and I grabbed a slice. I didn't feel like eating. But I forced myself to eat. I ate and listened to the conversation. "We should actually hang out Lexi, me and you go shopping" Mikaela suggested. I shrugged.

"So your homeschooled?" bee asked me. I nodded. "Why are you homeschooled?" Sam asked. "A lot of problems. So I'm homeschooled" I said. I finished my slice of pizza. I saw the time. "I should. I can walk home. Thanks" I muttered. I left five bucks for the slice of pizza and I left.

I started to walk through the rain and then I took off running. The sound of my feet pounding the ground was what I listened to as I ran. Tears fell from my eyes. I can't believe that someone actually wants to hang out with me.

It must be a lie. It's all a lie! I thought to myself. I came to my home and I saw my sister walking up to the house. She saw me and then Helen got close to me on the pathway she pushed me onto the wet grass. My knees and elbows had scrapped up the grass so I had mud on my legs and arms.

She then kicked me and went into the house and I heard the lock being turned. Helen locked me outside. I sat up and then it started to rain harder.

My mom's car wasn't home. I got to my feet and I walked to the backyard. I sat on the deck and waited. I laid down on the wood deck and let the raid hit me. I feel dead inside. I might as well be dead.

I heard a car pull up and when my mom went inside I started to hear yelling. I got up and went inside. "Why would you bring that into the house? This has gone too far Helen! You can't keep taking drugs just so you can feel like you're part of a gang! Get that out of the house!" my mom yelled and Helen just yelled back.

I ran up the stairs and I went into my room. I slammed the door and I slid to the ground. I put my head up against the door. I listened to the yelling of my mother's voice and my sister.

This is a normal routine. The yelling and screaming. God, please, take me away from this pain. I pleaded in my mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Lexi's flaws

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own transformers and reviews are welcomed.

Another day. May, 8. Just another day. Another day of pain. I was laying in my bed curled up on my side. Staring at the wall. My dog sleeping in the curve of my legs and my two cats sleeping besides me.

It was still raining outside. My sister has seemed to disappear this morning. and my mother was out at work. I closed my eyes and counted each time I breathed in and out.

I don't how long I laid there but I got up and I went downstairs. It was quite. I could only hear the rain hitting the window.

I went and sat on the couch. I saw that my mom put up a new picture. It was of me on my horse and my sister was standing on the ground holding the reins of the horse. Most of the pictures were of my sister Helen. Anger hit me and I got up and I tore the pictures off the walls.

The pictures were all on the ground. The glass frames were broken. And my hands now have a few cuts. Tears fell. Helen has done nothing but destroy me.

I heard the door open. And then I saw it was Helen. "What did you do you psycho bitch!" Helen yelled and then she pushed me to the ground.

It seemed to be all a blur but I became her punching bag. And then she grabbed me and dragged me upstairs and put me into my room. Before I knew it I heard the door lock. I tried to open the door but I couldn't. I was locked in.

I went over to my bookshelf and I grabbed a book. I sat against the door reading. I hate her. I then threw my book. I let my head hit the door. I can't do this anymore. I'm fighting but I'm just losing this everlasting battle.

Time passed and then I heard feet stomping up the stairs. The door opened. My mom looked at me. "How could you Lexi! You just think that you'll get the attention you want by destroying pictures of our family!" my mom yelled. I looked behind my mom and I saw Helen smirking.

My mom yelled at me for a few more minutes and she went to her room and her room door slammed shut. "I hate you Helen" I said to her. She just smiled. "I love you to Lexi" she said and then she opened a pill bottle. My medication. She took a few of them and swallowed the pills. I pulled my door closed.

 **Next day**

Once again I have to go drop off some school work to my teacher. My mom thinks it's a good idea for me to get out of the house. She thinks being out will get me to be more motivated to start riding again and to play the violin again.

I was wearing my usual outfit. Jeans, t-shirt and arm warmers to cover my scars. What I always wear when going out. Not that I go out very much.

I came to the school and I left my bike at the bike racks. I went inside and came to Mrs. West's room. She came out and I gave the work to her. "Thank you Lexi. Once everything is finally marked you'll get your English credit! This is good" my teacher said and I nodded and left.

"Lexi!" I heard a familiar voice call out. I turned and saw it was Mikaela. I tried to smile but I just couldn't. I saw Sam and he smiled at me. "Hey, some of our friends want to meet you Lexi. It'll be awesome" Mikaela said. "Um. Well I have my bike and I have to go home" I said.

"Please, come on it'll be fun!" Sam said. I sighed. Maybe being out will be better than being at home where Helen is. "Um... Sure I'll go" I said hesitantly.

We went outside and Sam put my bike in the trunk of the Camaro. Even though it stuck halfway. I sat in the backseat as we drove down the road. We came to a house after a long time. I saw some really fancy vehicles.

"Wow, how do your friends afford those vehicles?" I asked. "They work in the military" Sam said. I nodded and we got out and I followed them up to the door and they opened the door and went in. I followed.

I stayed behind Mikaela. I saw lots of people in the living room. And I saw a four year old girl sitting on a lady's lap. "Hi Will" Mikaela said to a man.

"Everyone this is Lexi" Sam said and he pushed me to the front. I wanted to crawl into a deep hole. Everyone was staring at me. "Hi" I managed to say. It felt like someone was stabbing my chest with a sharp knife over and over.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Lexi." the woman said with the kid and she got up and came over to me. She hugged me. I froze. My whole body tense. She let me go. "You okay?" the woman asked. "I'm fine. I just don't like being hugged" I said and then I smiled. "I'm Sarah" the blonde haired woman said.

"That's Will and his Daughter Annabel. Sitting on the couch is Epps, Ironhide, Prowl and Optimus. The two over there are Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. And of course you've met Bee. And the man sitting in the chair over there is Jazz" Mikaela said to me. I forced a smile. "Hey little lady, it's nice to meet you" Jazz said to me.

I heard my phone ring. "I'll be outside" I muttered and I left the house and I answered my cellphone. "Hello" I answered "Lexi! Where are you freak!" I heard my sister yell. "I'm out" I said simply. "Well get back home Goth girl! Mom has said you're grounded for breaking those pictures" Helen said.

I looked down. "Fine. I'll be home soon" I muttered. "Good. Now get back home you freak!" Helen said and she hung up. I closed my flip phone. I put it back in my bag and I went inside the house. "I have to leave. It was nice to meet you all" I said. I wanted to run, to be away from this life.

"I can drive you to your house if you want" Sam said. "No, I can bike home" I muttered. "Well Lexi, it was nice to meet you" Optimus said to me. I nodded and Sam helped me get my bike out of the trunk of the Camaro.

I got on my bike. "Lexi, here's my cellphone number and Mikaela's too. Call us if you want to hang out" Sam said to me and gave me a piece of paper. I nodded and I peddled my bike as fast as I could.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the transformers and reviews are appreciated.

I was sitting up in my room. I was drawing another picture. It was of an anime girl crying. I closed my sketch pad. It was the weekend. And my mom was still mad at me for breaking the pictures.

I was just wanting to do nothing but I wanted to get away from Helen and everything. I laid down on my bed. I looked out the window. One more month and then school is done for good. But if I get my one credit I'll be done earlier.

I heard the downstairs door slam open. I heard voices. My sister and her friends. I listened but then I heard laughing and her friends were talking a mile a minute. They were on cocaine. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

I panicked. I got up fast and I was about to close my door but then my sisters foot was there. It seemed surreal. Like I was in a nightmare. Helen grabbed me and her and her friends started to kick me and punch me.

I wanted to scream. But every time I did, they would only hurt me more. She then did the one thing I could believe. She grabbed a knife and her boyfriend held me down on my stomach. I screamed out in pain as she cut something into my back.

I closed my eyes and I still cried. Maybe I should let her kill me. I'm so done with fighting this life. She let me go and they sat on the ground near me. I sat up and I was looking for a way to run.

Helen just smiled at me. "You are such a piece of trash Lexi!" she exclaimed and then laughed. "You now have my personalized tattoos on your back now!" she said. I could feel blood dripping down my back. She got up and her friends staggered away downstairs.

I curled up and lay on the floor. I don't know how long I waited but I got up and I went to the bathroom. I locked the door and I took off my clothes. I stood in front of the mirror looking at my back. I was skinny so I wasn't strong enough to fight off my sister.

I saw that there was words now carved into my skin on my back. Worthless, Trash, stupid and mistake. I let more tears fall. I wiped my tears away. I looked at my medium length hair. I grabbed the scissors. And I cut off my hair.

I let my pain take control of me and cut off my hair. I hate myself. I hate everything about me! After the hair was off and my hair short. Just think of a pixie haircut. I then let out a scream and I fell to my knees. I just sobbed. I could feel the blood on my back drying.

I stepped into the shower and I sat on the floor. I didn't want to do this anymore. Live each day and get hurt in more ways than one. I'm being hurt physically and mentally every single day.

I got out of the shower and I heard the car pull up the driveway. My mom was home. I went into my room and put on a t-shirt and some shorts. I closed my door and went in my bed.

I heard footsteps and I heard my door open. I made sure to seem like I was sleeping. My mom sat on my bed. "Oh sweetie. Why did you cut your hair." my mom said and she sighed. "I wish you didn't have to deal with all these problems sweetie. I just want you to be normal" my mom said. She didn't know I was awake. She ran her hand through my hair and kissed my forehead and she left the room.

 **Two days later**

Tuesday. And once again I had to bring my homework to my teacher at the school. The day after I cut my hair my mom brought me to the hairdresser to get my hair trimmed so it would be even and not chopped up.

It was the end of the school day and I walked up the steps passing people. I went down the hall and I passed Sam and Mikaela. They didn't recognize me. "Lexi? Is that you?" Mikaela asked. I stopped and turned around. "Yeah. I got a new haircut" I muttered.

"It's a nice look on you Lexi. Hey do you want to go out shopping tonight?" Mikaela asked me. "Um… well I need to ask my mom" I said. After I dropped off my homework we went outside and Sam put my bike in the back of the Camaro. I told them where to go and we came to my house.

My mom was home and she was outside gardening. Sam helped me put my bike back by the garage. "Mom, can I go shopping?" I asked. she got up and grabbed her wallet from her purse. She handed me the credit card. "Have fun honey" my mom said went back to gardening.

I turned to Sam and Mikaela. "I'm just going to go grab my purse from my room" I said and ran into the house and I grabbed my purse from my room and ran down the stairs past my sister and I ran out the door.

We left my house and headed to the Mall. When we got there I saw Sarah, Will and a few others. As I got out I saw that Sarah smiled at me. "Lexi! Really like your new hair cut" I heard Epps say. "Thanks" I muttered. "Lexi! Meet Arcee, Chromia and Elita" Mikaela introduced me. I said hi to them.

We walked around and I listened to the conversation. I didn't talk very much. I then saw my favourite store. the store was called Cool38. "Hey, I'm just going to go over to my favorite store. I'll catch up to you guys" I said and I was about to walk towards the store. "We'll come Lexi. I've never been in that store before." Mikaela said.

We all walked over to the store and I went and looked at the accessories. I saw some arm warmers that were thin. I picked up the light blue and black Arm warmers. I slipped off my own arm warmers and I tried on the arm warmers. They fit my arms. I was going to get these for the summer because they were thin material. When I slipped off the arm warmers to put on my old ones I just stopped and looked at my cuts and old scars on my arms.

"Lexi, what happened to your arm?" I heard Sarah ask. I quickly slipped my old arm warmers on. "It's nothing" I said. Mikaela was looking at me worriedly. I went and looked at the necklaces and I found one that I liked. It was just a plain necklace with a silver pendant moon.

I went over to the cash register and bought the necklace and arm warmers. I was feeling horrible that Sarah and Mikaela had seen my cuts my and old scars. I grabbed my stuff and I went of the store and I watched as Mikaela paid for a new dress.

We went to a few different stores and I got some new outfits but I was staying quiet. We went outside and back to the vehicles. "How about we drop you off at home Lexi?" Will said. "Um. Sure" I muttered. I got into the back seat of the black top kick truck. Ironhide got into the driver's seat. Sarah was sitting beside me and Will was in the front seat.

It felt like forever as we drove towards my house. I saw the familiar flashing lights of a police car. The truck parked at the curb of the side. "What's going on?" Sarah asked. "It's probably my sister. Again" I muttered. I open the door and jumped out of the truck. "Thanks for driving me home" I said. I saw the police car leaving.

And then the screaming from my sister started. "Bye" I muttered and ran up to the house and I got inside and I ran up the stairs. I got to my room and slammed the door. I didn't want to hear the yelling. I walked over to my window and I saw the black top kick truck leave. I closed my eyes and I felt some tears well up.

I sat down onto my bed and I started to cry. I looked at my arms. Scars. What do they think of me? They saw my scars! I sobbed and cried my eyes out. I looked at a picture of my whole family. My sister was smiling and she had her arm around my shoulder and my mom was hugging me and my sister. I was 5 years old and my sister was 7 years old.

I got up and grabbed the picture out of the frame and I grabbed the photo album with pictures of me and some with the whole family or me with certain people. I didn't want anything to do with my family or past or anything to do with me. I

Ran downstairs and I went to the kitchen. I grabbed the lighter and ran outside. I got on my bike and peddle as fast as I could. I came to an old abandoned park. The city was going to fix up this park but no one comes here anymore in this neighborhood.

I grabbed the lighter and I started to burn the pictures. As soon as the last picture was burnt I noticed that the clouds had started to grow darker and I noticed the rain starting to come down. I got back on my bike and peddled slowly back home. When I got home I saw my mother standing at the door waiting. I put my bike away and walked up to the doorway.

"What did you do with all of your pictures!?" my mother yelled. "I burned them. I don't want to remember anything about my family! I hope I die so I don't have to be in this family anymore!" I yelled back and pushed past my mom and ran up the stairs into my room.

I went and grabbed my knife from under my pillow. I don't want this life. I thought to myself and I pulled up my Arm warmers and I started to cut deeply into my skin. The pain clouded my mind from all the pain in my life. It felt good to not feel my emotions. I cut again and again. The crimson blood rolled down my arm and onto the floor.

When I heard the loud knock on my door I pulled down the arm warmers and put the knife under my pillow and I jumped onto my bed and pulled the blanket over me. The door opened and the lights went out. I felt the blood seep through my arm warmers and onto the bed. The door closed and I sat up and I locked my door.

I grabbed my water bottle and I poured some water onto the cuts. I felt more pain. Whenever I put water on my open cuts I always feel pain from it. I can feel more pain to wash away the emotions. Cutting is my only way of feeling better.

I'm so broken. I hate feeling lost and broken. It makes me feel weak. I cleaned up the spilt water and I went over to my desk. I turned on my laptop and I went and got into some shorts and a tank top. I sat in my office chair. I don't understand why my mom got me a desk and an office chair.

I went to YouTube and played my song playlist. The song Perfect by P!nk came on. I had my earbuds on so no one would think I was still awake. I opened a new tab and I went to my Facebook page. I saw that I still had 0 friends. No friend requests. Figures. Nobody really knows me to want to be my friend.

I went to my DevianArt page and people have commented on my art work and my poems I have written. I saw the night sky outside my window. Barely can see the stars because I live in the city. I love seeing the stars at night out in the country. I have spent some nights out at the horse farm and sleep out in the field. The person who runs the farm knows me well.

I exited the internet and I closed my laptop. I got up and opened my door. "Levi" I whispered and I heard the clicking sounds of Levi's claws hitting the ground. She came into my room and I closed the door. Levi laid down on my bed and I laid down and closed my eyes.

"I need to be free of this pain Levi. It's too much" I whispered. I talked to my dog a while longer and I fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
Lexi's Flaws

Disclaimer: wanted to say thank you for the reviews. *hands out Energon goodies* reviews are welcomed. And this is going to be a long chapter because I want this chapter to make up for the time I've missed with writing over the summer from traveling. I don't own the transformers.

It's been a month now. June now. And no more school. Sitting out in the backyard was a relief to get away from everyone. I haven't seen Sam or his friends since the shopping trip. I'm afraid to hang out with them because they might ask about my scars.

Things have gotten worse for me. I barely move from my bed, I don't eat very much and I cut myself every day. My mom was out at work and Helen was out with friends. My cellphone buzzed. Another text message. I turned on my phone and looked at the text.

 _Hey Lexi, do you want to come over to watch a movie tonight at Sam's house? We'll be watching it outside, we have a movie projector. It'll be fun! Mikaela._

Turned off the phone with a sigh. Do I want to go hang out with them? I leaned back into the chair and closed my eyes. "I can't keep this up. Saying no to everything. They'll think I hate them" I muttered to the empty air.

Grabbing my phone I started to text words onto the screen. _Hi Mikaela. Sure I'll come. Who else is going to be there? Lexi._ I sent the message and I got a message back from Mikaela.

 _There's going to be the usually group of us and you'll get to meet Smokescreen and Blurr._

I sent back an okay. And she responded that Bee would come and get me at 6. Slipping the cellphone back into my pocket I left to go inside to get a shower. I was thinking about how weird their names were.

 **Later**

It was cooling down a little. The summer heat was really bad during the day. I saw the yellow Camaro pull up and I got up and went to the vehicle. I opened the door and got into the passenger seat. "How you doing Lexi? We haven't seen you for a while" Bee said.

"I was busy with my horse" I said. A lie. I was actually laying in my bed doing nothing. "You own a horse? They're amazing creatures" Bee said to me and I nodded.

We came to Sam's house and I saw the fancy vehicles and a few new ones. "I guess Ratchet decided to come" I heard Bee say to himself. I got out and grabbed my bag. I walked with Bee to the backyard. "You must be Lexi! I'm Judy Witwicky" the woman said to me.

"Hi" I said shyly. "Lexi! It's been a month!" Mikaela said to me. "Are you avoiding us?" Mikaela asked. "No, I've just been busy with my horse" I said. "You own a horse? What's its name?" she asked. I pulled out my phone and went to my picture of Galaxy.

I showed the picture to Mikaela. "What you looking at gals?" I almost jumped out of my skin. I turned and saw a guy with white hair and a blue streak in it with red beside it. And blue eyes.

"Lexi was showing me a picture. Lexi, you were going to tell me what one was yours?" Mikaela said to me. "Her name is Galaxy." I said and Mikaela nodded and I went to another picture of galaxy.

"Okay, everyone lets pick out a movie!" we all went to the deck. I stepped onto the step and then all of the sudden I had fell. I felt a small pain in my arm. "Lexi! You okay?" I heard Sam ask and he helped me up. "Your bleeding" Sam said and I saw part of the gash from under my arm warmer.

"Lexi, my name is Ratchet. I'm a medic. I think you'll need stitches in that. Let's get you fixed up" the man Ratchet said and lead me away from the backyard and too the search and rescue hummer. He opened the back of the hummer and made me sit on the stretcher.

"I'll have to get you to take off the arm cover" Ratchet said. I looked down at my arm that was bleeding. "Do you have the patient confidentiality thing?" I asked shyly. "I'm a doctor and if there is anything you need to say or about your health I will not tell anyone else unless it is absolutely necessary." Ratchet said honestly to me.

I started to take off my arm warmer. When Ratchet saw my arm he just kept on looking. "Please, don't tell anyone. I already have enough trouble trying to hide these scars from my mom" I said pleadingly. Tears started to hit my eyes.

Ratchet started to clean the gash on my arm. "Lexi, a youngling like you shouldn't be self-harming for attention" Ratchet said. I let my head hang and then I did start to cry. "No one has ever understood or listened to what I have to say or ever want to know what the truth is." I said.

Ratchet had stopped cleaning the gash. "Then tell me why you self-harm" Ratchet said. I looked up. Ratchet numbed the gash and started to put stitches in. "I cut because I don't want to deal with the pain in my life. Putting pain on myself is a relief for me. My mom doesn't even believe me for anything I say" I said as the tears streaked my face.

Ratchet finished putting the last stitch in my arm. "Lexi, it seems like you have a tough life with your family" he said to me. "You have no idea" I muttered. Ratchet put some gauze over the gash. "We can help you Lexi" Ratchet said. I looked up. "Why would anyone help me? I'm… I'm not worth the bother" I said.

Ratchet smiled sadly. "Every life is worth something. Come on, we'll get you help. But you need to let the others know. We are your support group" Ratchet said. We walked back to the backyard. Maybe they'll really help me and not… not say I'm a liar like my other friends when I asked them for help. And they defriended me on Facebook and.

ENOUGH! I yelled to myself in my mind. I need to get help. If they say I'm a liar, then. Then I guess I should kill myself. There isn't anything I can do after this. This is my last chance.

We came to the backyard and I saw that Annabel had fallen asleep. "Lexi, you can tell everyone" Ratchet said. I looked down. "Ratchet says I need help. But I don't think so. I suffer from depression and. And I self-harm. If you don't want to be my friends anymore I understand, I'm used to it" I said.

Everyone was silent. I felt a few tears fall. I then felt someone hug me. "I knew that something wasn't right when I saw those scars honey. We might have not known you for long, but you're a teen with a mental health problem and we're here for you" Sarah said to me.

I looked down and I really started to cry. Sarah led me to the steps and made me sit down. "Everyone. Go back to base. Prowl, Jazz, Ratchet, Ironhide please stay here" I heard Optimus say. Most people left and it was Will, Sarah, Sam and Mikaela and the others that were asked to say. I noticed Judy Witwicky and her husband Ron was standing near the doorway.

"Lexi, we can help you but can you tell us what the main reason of your depression is?" Sarah asked. I looked down. "My sister. She's a big factor to my depression. And my mom too. My sister, she has tried to kill me and then in front of people she acts like we're the best sisters" I said. The tears were streaming down my face.

I kept on telling them what has happened to me and about my family. I was in full out crying. "Lexi, we have a spare room. You can stay the night" I heard Will say. "Really?" I asked. He nodded.

It seemed like Will and Sarah were really wanting to help me. We went to the black GMC truck and Annabel was put in her car seat and I got into the back. When we came to the house, Sarah led me to the bedroom.

"Lexi, you're welcomed here at any time. Okay?" Sarah said to me. "okay." I said.

 **No one's pov**

When Optimus pulled into the hanger he transformed. Prowl was there waiting for him. "Lexi's carrier has been neglecting her to keep her out of harm ways. And Lexi's sister has a record" Prowl said.

"Maybe we should try and bring Lexi to children protection services" Optimus said. "Sir, she is 14 human years old, she isn't considered a child. She can choose where to live. With her sire or carrier" Prowl said.

After the long discussion went on between Prowl and Optimus, they came to a conclusion.

 **Lexi's pov next morning**

Opening my eyes was painful. The light was bright. I sat up and I was still in my clothes. Not my PJs. I then remembered where I was. I was in Will and Sarah's house. My arm warmers were on the table and the one had blood stains. I put them in my pocket and I went down the stairs. I came to the living room and I saw that Will, Sarah, Annabel, Optimus, Ironhide, Prowl and jazz were there. I went and sat down on the far chair in the room.

Annabel came up to me. "How did those marks get on your arms?" Annabel asked me. I didn't know how to answer. "mean people put them on your body when they weren't nice to you, because when people are mean to you, you end up being mean to yourself." I said to Annabel.

The little girl then climbed up onto the chair and hugged me. "You shouldn't be with those mean people because you don't need those marks Lexi!" Annabel declared. I hugged the little girl. "I should be away from those mean people" I muttered. The little girl went down from the chair and went over to the TV to watch her cartoons.

"Lexi, we talked with Optimus and Prowl earlier. Prowl is a police officer so he looked into to see if your family had a criminal record or something else. The police at your home the one day was because of your sister Helen wasn't it?" Will said to me.

I nodded. "Reported incidents multiple times about your sister and many other chargers on her record. Instead of just talking about your sister. Lexi, can we bring your case to court so you can go live in a different place and be happy?" Prowl said to me. I looked down.

"This. This means a lot for you to be doing this. But I can't leave my pets with my mother and sister. I fear for their safety" I said. "We can deal with your pets too" Sarah said. I saw Ratchet come into the living room. "Has Lexi agreed or decline the offer?" Ratchet said. Everyone was looking at me.

Silence was always my friend when I felt scared, but this silence made me afraid of choosing something. "I accept" I said with pleading eyes hopping this wasn't a trick. "Okay. Lexi, can you come to the kitchen. We need to get pictures of your scars for evidence to help back up your case of neglect or abuse" Prowl said. I got up and I went to the kitchen with Ratchet, prowl and Sarah.

I told them a lot about my life and they took pictures of my scars on my arms. "Lexi, are there anymore scars that are inflicted upon you or from your life" Ratchet asked. I nodded. I turned around and lifted up my shirt and I heard Sarah gasp.

Sarah came over and helped hold of the back of my shirt while the photos were taken. "Who gave you… these scars?" Sarah asked. "My sister. And her boyfriend" I said. I remembered each word they scared into my skin.

I had tears silently rushing past my eyes. When the pictures were done I was sitting in the chair letting my eyes drip tears. Sarah put a hand on my shoulder and I started to sob. I didn't know how to feel now.

 **Next day**

Today we were going to the court. I couldn't believe that they got the court to start my case this fast. My parents were both going to be there and so will my sister. I was still wearing the same clothes from when I came for the movie night.

We came to the court and when we got to the court room I saw him. I lowered my head and didn't look at my family. I listened numbly to the proceedings. "Since I'm not sure of how to make of this case. Lexi Carter, you will be sent to a foster home for the-" the judge was cut off. "Lexi doesn't have to go to a foster home. She can stay on the military base with me" I was shocked to hear Will Lennox say that. "Lexi. Are you willing to be living with the Lennox's?" the judge asked.

"Yes. But. I can't leave my pets with my mom and sister" I said bravely and then I started to get a shocked look from my mother. And then I saw the hardening glare in her eyes. "Your pets! Your horse, your cats, your fish, your dog? I bought those animals for you Lexi and you're just turning your back on me! I'm your mother! I have done everything for you! I refuse to let you have those animals Lexi!" my mother screeched.

I haven't seen my mother this mad since my sister started to take drugs. "Mrs. Carter! Until this case is settled I'm going to let Lexi take her pets. All of them and there won't be an argument. Mr. Lennox are you okay with pets coming into your house or the military base?" the judge said.

"I'm sure we can get Secretary Keller to let Lexi keep her pets in her living quarters. And her horse can be brought to a nearby farm." Will said. "Okay. Mrs. Carter, Lexi will be getting her pets and items from the house today so if I hear that you're at the house when she's there, you might not be getting your daughter back" the judge said sternly. "Dismissed" and then I hugged Will.

I was afraid to be pushed away by Will but he pulled me in and hugged me back. "Thank you will" I said. Sarah came over. "Maybe, if your case is won. We could adopt you Lexi?" Sarah asked. I stared in shock. She was such a nice lady. I can trust these people.

"You won't push me away will you?" I asked quietly. "Of course not. If we adopt you, you'll be our daughter okay?" Will said. I nodded. We walked outside and we headed to my house. I went upstairs and will handed me the boxes to load up my stuff.

My cats had come into the room and were greeting Annabel. I pulled out all of my clothes and put them into my bags. I just started to dump my stuff into boxes. I made sure to be careful with my laptop and other electronics. Will, Ironhide and Prowl were bring my boxes of stuff down the stairs.

I got all of my stuff cleaned up after a while and I stared at the empty room of my stuff. I went downstairs and I grabbed the three cat carriers and I brought up the bag of animal food for my different pets. I gathered up my cats, DJ, Steve and Zoe.

I went and grabbed the buckets and I emptied half of the water out of the fish tank and I scooped my fish into a net and put them into the bucket with the water. I dumped the rest of the water and I got Will to help me carry the tank down the steps.

When all of my cats and fish were set I grabbed the dog stuff and I went to the backyard and got Levi. She was so happy to meet all of the new people. We went to the truck and I let my dog into the back seat and we drove off. I had tears falling from my eyes.

We came to Wills house and I saw that there was new vehicles I haven't seen before. When we got out I made sure to keep a grip on Levi's leash. I was afraid that if I let go of the leash, I would find that this was just all a dream in my mind while I was with my pets.

We came into the house and I saw Annabelle squeal in joy when she saw Levi. She went up to Levi and petted her. Levi was thrilled to be meeting someone new. "Lexi, meet Mudflap and Skids, Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus" Optimus introduced me. I gave a nod in hello.

"Okay, we just had to stop by here and then we'll be heading to the military base" Will said and I nodded. He went upstairs to go pack I guess. I went back outside and sat on the steps. My dog Levi was sitting at my feet.

When Will came back out Sarah said bye to us and we left the house. I was just so. So relived to be living without the fear of my family. But if my mother wins this court case. Then so much for a happy ending.


End file.
